Why nice guys shouldnt get married

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Box Charlottesville, VA info ifstudies. Media Inquiries For media inquiries, contact Michael Toscano michael ifstudies. And no matter how nice the deeds themselves are, the underlying motivation is unattractive.

In general, people-pleasing behavior is a sign of neediness. Neediness repels everyone, not just women. Does this mean that you should never compromise?

Of course not. This is how dating works. Never re-shape who you are, people please or pander to try to manipulate people into engaging with you. The moral of the story for nice guys, or for people who exhibit this nice guy energy into the world is simple. Stop lying. Stop operating in a disingenuous way.

Women can tell. The world can tell. There are 7 billion people in this world. Enough of them would love to engage with you just the way you are. So, engage with the world fully but get rid of your agenda. The agenda is the hallmark of the nice guy. Sign in. Felicia C. Ayodeji Awosika Follow. Stop Being a People Pleaser Nice guys are inauthentic and display people-pleasing behaviors. The Fundamental Lesson Nice Guys Need to Learn The moral of the story for nice guys, or for people who exhibit this nice guy energy into the world is simple.

I Love You Relationships now. Relationships Love Dating Masculinity Women. I Love You Follow. Written by Ayodeji Awosika Follow. More From Medium. Sacrifice the Saviour.

He probably has many other traits, but none of them appeal to you. This is not because he isn't attractive, but because different people are attracted to different traits. A few days ago, a girl in her mids posted on a Facebook group that she was engaged to this absolutely nice guy who wanted nothing more in the world than for her to be happy. Yet, she couldn't stand him, no matter how hard she tried.

She was asking for advice. Apparently, she was in a huge dilemma about whether to break up with him or stay. I went through all the 86 comments, and the feedback from other girls was mostly as follows:. Hold on to him and never let go. Thank God every day for this blessing. Give him and yourself a chance. You need to be with someone who loves you, and not someone you love. You won't be happy, and you won't make him happy. Chemistry matters, and no one is obliged to marry anyone.

Months ago, I went through a similar dilemma. Only, I didn't get engaged. A supposedly "nice guy" who'd been trying to woo me for about a year proposed to me. I didn't like him, nor did I find him attractive by any means. There was simply no chemistry between us. But after almost a year of him not giving up on trying to woo me, I thought I should maybe give him a chance.

However, I could not force myself to respect or like him. Yet, I asked my family and friends for their opinions. I'm usually not someone who asks for other's opinions when it comes to personal matters, but because I had no feelings whatsoever for the guy, I had to listen to what others had to say. Some said they found him perfect because apparently, he wanted me so badly.

After all, he was "a nice guy. They love her and believe that as long as she isn't in love, she won't get hurt. There is no chance she'll get her heart broken. Many of the people around us believe our life choices are wrong and that they know what's best for us.

So, they encourage us to stay on the safe side. This can be boring. When it comes to relationships, people get absolutely jealous. Even the closest of friends could get envious, and thus, they encourage a woman to marry "the nice guy. There are always those pessimists who don't believe in true love and happy endings. They don't want others to believe in them, either.

They're afraid optimists will disrupt their pessimism. I did my homework. I went online and Googled whatever keywords I could think of regarding marrying a nice guy. Many women were complaining about being married to nice guys. They disliked everything about them. They were not satisfied. They started feeling remorseful and worried they might end up breaking those nice guys' hearts. Not to mention, they were even more afraid of cheating on their nice guys someday.

Thus, I couldn't find one satisfying answer. Please help me. I don't know what to do. Some say you should marry the guy you friend zoned because he's a keeper.